The power of one word to feel better

Yesterday I had the pleasure of listening to Bill. And not an eye in the room was tear-free!

Bill’s an incredible human. He’s successfully recovered from a stroke. Now saying this doesn’t mean it was easy. It’s been a five-year journey and it continues.

The particular story Bill shared was a powerful reminder of how one small shift creates profound change.

So what happened?

Bill was in a rehab session, working on activities to retrain his hand to grab and pick up things. While doing this, he noticed a fellow stroke patient was struggling. Ivan’s task was to pick up a cup and move it sideways. Sounds simple right? Well not for a stroke patient learning to use their hand. And Ivan was having no luck. He kept knocking the cup over every single time. He was getting no where and he was frustrated.

And Bill noticed something. At the start of each attempt, Ivan kept saying to his hand, “ c’omon bugger, just do it”.

So Bill offered Ivan a moment to pause and asked him, “Hey Ivan, I’m curious. Wonder what’d happen if you call your hand Friend instead of Bugger?

So Ivan paused. Then gave it a go.

His hand picked up the cup and moved it sideways.

At this point the whole room stopped. Dead silence. Everyone was in awe. How this one word – one simple shift in what we say to ourselves – changed the game. It made something possible. It led to a better outcome.

Now words powerfully wire our brains and actions. Even the one act of labeling a negative thought or emotion activates our logic thinking part (ventrolateral prefrontal cortex) and reduces activity in the stressing part (amygdala).

So how interesting and powerful is it to know, that in caring for ourselves we can start with the simple act of choosing your words wisely. And this is available to anyone! And it’s free!

So when you’re feeling challenged or finding something difficult or uncomfortable, here are some quick simple actions you can do:

1. Ask yourself out loud: “What is this feeling and what am I saying to myself?”

2. Write this down.

3. Next, look at these words – and ask yourself “How can I change this? What’s the one word or phrase you can replace so it’s more positive, kind and encouraging?”

4. Now do it. Say it out loud … and go do something!

5. So now, can you notice how much different or better that feels compared to before?

And isn’t it always good to remember, how the small act of changing a few words can shift how your feel and boost the care and kindness you give yourself.

Author

Dani Sirotic is a change designer, behavioural modeller and coach who helps individuals create generative change in their lives. She provides practical creative coaching that helps individuals create opportunities in their lives, grow resilience and cultivate mental and emotional health.

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash